Jen in China: The Ladies' Room: The Final Frontier

In most parts of my life, I have adjusted to China. I eat the food, breathe the “air,” and use chopsticks most of the time. There is, however, one part of Chinese life that I simply cannot adjust to - the ladies’ room.

In China, like many other Eastern countries, the squat toilet is king. I, for the life of me, cannot master this contraption. It requires some secret maneuver that I just don’t know how to do.

I’ve tried to learn how to use this thing. I’ve watched YouTube videos, read directions, and looked at diagrams. I’ve even asked female co-workers. It’s no use. I’ll start to feel confident in my squat toilet abilities and then, when I actually encounter one, I realize that I still have no idea how to use it.

So far, I have only used them three times in my life: once in Korea and twice in China. So, it’s quite possible to avoid a squatter if you really try. In Korea, it was actually really easy to find a Western style toilet. In Beijing, finding a Western style toilet is very difficult. My apartment and my work are both equipped with Western style bathrooms but, beyond those two places, things get iffy fast.

To find a Western toilet, be prepared to look around for a while. I have found that upscale department stores are the most likely to have nice, clean bathrooms with a Western toilet available. Most of these will have a row of stalls with squat toilets and then one stall with a Western toilet. Next, Western restaurants and some fast food outlets will have them. Beyond this, not much else is available.

In addition to an unfamiliar toilet, most of the bathrooms that I’ve encountered in China are gross. Toilet paper is usually not offered. Also, soap is not available. So, keep a bottle of hand sanitizer and a pack of tissues in your purse in case this happens.

Most public bathrooms in Beijing also have a smell. This smell will make your eyes water. I read somewhere on the internet that this is because of the way the pipes going to the squat toilets are configured. Pipes leaving a Western toilet are shaped like an “S.” This, apparently, keeps fumes from coming up into the bathroom. The squat toilets, on the other hand, have straight pipes. So, the fumes are free to come and go as they please. I don’t know much about plumbing so, I can’t say if this is true or not but, it makes sense to me.

All bathrooms, Western or squat style, in China do have one thing in common. In both styles, you should not flush down the toilet paper. For some reason, here, the bathrooms are built with pipes that cannot accommodate paper. So, they will get clogged if paper is flushed. As a result, there is a small trash can right next to the toilet. This is where you throw your paper. It is also a source of odor in heavily used restrooms.

Going to the ladies room (and the men’s room, I imagine) in China is not for the faint of heart. But, with a little planning and a search party, it can be a slightly less harrowing experience because, let’s face it, it will always be a little harrowing.